OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
