k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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