so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
