why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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