So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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