How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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