I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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