Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
