3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You need a sexual gate keeper
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
