ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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