You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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