Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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