Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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