Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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