People with herpes should wear stickers.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
