she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
