he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Operation Purity has been aborted
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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