how can u be prego again
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
