Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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