How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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