I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
