omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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