Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
