If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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