I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
not ubering you a puppy
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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