i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
