i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
