Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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