OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
