found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
