That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Randomize
