I met the friendliest cop last night
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
