I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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