With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
