he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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