Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
