i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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