that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
