I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
