If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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