Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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