its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
