I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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