Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
