I just cut my nipple shaving
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
