Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
