Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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