Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
