Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
That accounts for only three of the penises
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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