You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
