Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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